I feel like a preschooler sometimes. I need safe. I need comfortable.
But I'm a preschool TEACHER. Safe, comfortable, and loving is the atmosphere I need to create. It's my job.
When I reflect upon my last five months of blogging absense, these thoughts culminate in my head because I feel that life has been a tilt-o-whirl of transitions. I know it's definitely not an excuse for not hopping on my computer to blog out my thoughts, so Grampa please forgive me for not keeping you updated on my teaching adventures. Hopefully some of this makes up for the past five months :)
My last blog was at the end of September, with the "school" part of the preschool year getting into full-swing. I was gearing up for knowing each of my kids' developmental levels and preparing to share all of that information with their parents at conferences in mid October. Conferences are always one of my favorite events because it gives the necessary time to sit with each family and discuss their questions, needs and also connect with them more in general. It always is a very eye-opening and positive experience. In all of the preparation for conferences and classroom curriculum, I also was very focused on getting everything together to move into a new house with Tony in a new city. Lots of exciting things happening all at the same time!
By the start of November, I was figuring out the work commute from Chaska to Edina... sooooo much better than Plymouth! Smart move. The coming months were consumed with adjustment to being homeowners, as well as gearing up for the holidays at school, with family, and also leading and organizing our whole Sunday School program. Every year, you would think that we'd expect the holidays to come... but every year, it seems that December and the weeks preceding just don't allow for enough time to get everything done in an unstressed manner! Maybe this year...
And then POOF! 2013 disappeared! 2014 arrived quicker than any other year! I hear this all the time from much older and WISER people, but I find it to be true that the years just go faster and faster as you age.
This winter of 2013/2014 will definitely go down as one for the record books! Even though we're in Minnesota, we seemed to have gotten ourselves accustomed to the -30 and -40 degree windchills... When we've had rare, magical 10 degree days, we feel like we're ready to bust out our spring jackets.
As for the classroom, it's where we suffer the most. And 'suffer' may be a strong word... but when you can only take your preschoolers outside if it's 0 degrees or warmer (with windchill included), it gets to feel a bit claustrophobic when their little bodies want to run around like crazy after being cooped up for so long! For the past 2 months, I can count on 2 hands the number of times we've been able to get outside with the kids. Their 4- and 5-year-old bodies need to get active and be outside! It helps them focus better inside the classroom and allows them to get extra energy out!
The weather was not the only aspect that made the transition from the year 2013 to 2014 a little difficult. In this new year, I've already had a few situations arise that have forced me outside my comfort zone. At the time of this uncomfortablity, I was at a low. I felt defeated and emotional, like nothing was really going my way. But thoughts like this show weakness. Not believing in my own expertise and knowledge was something that was never an option: it was what I depended on. That was and is my reputation, and that was what I was sticking to.
Then, over this past month of February, I've had a few "ah-ha" moments that I can now look back as huge experiences of growth for me professionally. It may sound a little dorky, but I was on Facebook and took one of those silly personality quizzes. The results of this quiz were so true and so enlightening to how I actually am... it opened my eyes to how I come across to people and the adjustments I may need to make in order to grow into a more successful professional and a more effective leader!
Here are my results:
You are a Good-natured Realist!
Good-natured Realists are warm-hearted, helpful personalities. They do their work conscientiously and have a pronounced organizing talent. They often feel they are committed to traditional values. The family in particular is extremely important to Good-natured Realists. Their greatest pleasure is making themselves useful and taking care of other people.
But they do not like pushing themselves to the fore; they prefer to fulfill their tasks out of the limelight. Good-natured Realists are real workaholics; they are very reliable and nothing is too much for them when it is a question of completing a project. Thoroughness, conscientiousness and sense of duty are their strongest points. They prefer established and familiar situations to new and unknown situations.In dealing with others, Good-natured Realists are considerate and obliging; they are always happy to put aside their own requirements in the interest of their family and friends. Their home is mostly very well cared-for, cosy and tidy. Their perfectionism on the one hand and their aversion to delegating tasks on the other hand often lead to them taking on too much both professionally and privately. They cannot stand discord; conflicts make them very unhappy. One could almost describe them as being harmony-addicted - and this sometimes leads them to strongly neglecting themselves and their own wishes because they are unable to bring themselves to put up a fight.
Being the "good-natured realist" that I am, conflict is something I try to avoid, along with unknown situations that are not necessary. So when my long-time assistant teacher, Amy, took a sudden job opportunity at a different business, you can imagine my happiness for her but also my shock for how to deal with this immediately. Amy has such an effective presence in the classroom and the kids truly adore her, but her talents for a long-term profession led her to an opportunity that I know she will shine so brightly! In that respect, her leaving our room was extremely sad and difficult. Nobody likes change. Transition is change. And when its unexpected, it becomes an untidy and stressful situation.
As an educator, it is my job to make this stressful, unexpected transition into something beautiful and routined for the kids. Having Kate step into the assistant role in my room was the light at the end of this tunnel of transition. Even though we're still in the process of the transition to it being "Anne & Kate's room", the direction we're going with the class and our teaching team is so bright and positive. It makes me excited to come to work and see what progress we're going to make that day! We've been in a small version of "boot camp" with it basically being like a beginning-of-the-year situation with a new teacher. But with each of us having a positive, enthusiastic attitude, it makes our classroom management that much more effective and fun!
Another "ah-ha" moment came as I finally got the privilege to observe a team of veteran preschool teachers work their magic. Their management and routines were as smooth as drawn butter. But that wasn't my "ah-ha" moment. The moment actually came after I had observed this team, and I found myself emotionally vulnerable as I reflected upon what I saw that morning. I didn't find myself comparing my classroom style and theirs, but I did find myself disappointed. I felt so disappointed in myself for not being more resourceful before now. Two of the best resources were just on the other side of my wall for a year, without me fully taking the time to realize it. I hold myself to such high expectations, but my realization that day was disheartening yet so extremely motivational. I want to have a teaching team like that, and I know that our classroom can make it happen! The support and love I've received from my coworkers in this transition is so encouraging, and I will never take it for granted! Everybody needs a shoulder to lean on :)
Yes, transition is not always the most comfortable thing in the world. On the other hand, how you handle that transition and bounce back afterward is what makes the difference. That essentially defines your growth. Professionally and personally. This has been a long five months of transitions... But what kind of teacher would I be if I resisted these opportunities for learning and personal growth? :)
Grampa, I promise that my next blog won't be five months from now! Love you!
